Why is my baby not sleeping?

It’s one of the most frustrating (and yet, common) questions we ask ourselves in those first few months: why won’t my baby sleep?

If this is something you’re currently going through as a parent, you’re certainly not alone. Poor sleeping patterns are not isolated to just newborns either – sleep regression is common at various points from newborn to toddler-age. So, what causes sleeping issues? And how can we, as parents, learn to work through these sleeping issues to create a consistent, manageable sleep routine? 

That’s what I’m here for. A sleep consultant (and mother) myself, I work with parents to determine why their baby is not sleeping as well as they could be, and how I can help you to gain the confidence and skills to manage bedtime. 

Reasons your baby is not sleeping

A baby not sleeping can be the result of a wide range of contributing factors – from feeding, to discomfort, to overstimulation, to a lack of routine, to food sensitivites, to simply just needing reassurance and comfort from a parent. Mainstream resources will tell you that there’s a secret recipe out there for getting your baby to sleep, or to simply let them cry it out – the reality is, the reason your baby isn’t sleeping well is completely unique to each family. 

At Mindful Mum, I help parents to break down patterns to understand why their baby may not be sleeping, and how to pick up on the right cues to confidently create a schedule that works for each family. While I take a holistic approach to sleep training, based on my experience, these are some of the most common ‘causes’ of sleeping issues. 

Feeding & nutrition

Feeding-to-sleep, night feeds, overall nutrition play a huge role in a baby’s sleep patterns, and circadian rhythm. Feeding-to-sleep is common (especially in newborns) as it can be very comforting; but it can also lead to waking up during the night or a false start bedtime, as babies continually seek the same comfort to fall back to sleep. Frequent niight feeds are also something that may work for some families, but not others. Night feeds can offer a chance to provide comfort and connection, but it’s also important to pay attention to your baby’s cues as feeding can directly impact energy levels. 

Taking a holistic approach to sleep, feeding routines and overall nutrition can also impact sleeping schedules. Whether you’re breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or onto solids, ensuring appropriate nutrition at consistent feeding times will directly improve sleeping habits. 

Day/night confusion

While you and I understand that we’re supposed to sleep at night and stay awake during the day, newborn babies are not on the same sleep-wake cycle between day and night. Being shielded from external light in the womb, a baby’s sleep-wake cycle is dictated by the mother’s movements rather than light. After birth, sudden exposure to changes in light and darkness can confuse the internal clock, leading to disrupted sleep patterns. 

Light can directly impact the circadian rhythm – exposing your little one to plenty of daylight can help to reset the internal body clock, and in turn, improve sleep. Similarly, creating a cosy, comfortable atmosphere by dimming lights and closing curtains can help to signal that it’s time to start winding down. 

Sleep environment

Newborn or toddler, babies can easily become overstimulated at different points of the day or night. Exposure to stimulation can be overwhelming to a baby’s sensitivity and prevent sleep. Room temperature, swaddling, lighting, and noise levels can be the main cause of a lack of sleep.

As part of developing a consistent sleep routine, get in the habit of creating the right calming environment. Reduce noise, dim the lights, and where appropriate, swaddle your baby to provide the right sleeping environment – soft music, white noise, rocking your baby to sleep can ease the emotional state and promote restful sleep. 

Parental stress

Believe it or not, your baby can also pick up on your cues. If you are stressed about your baby sleeping, wake windows, or not sticking to a rigid schedule, your anxiety can inadvertently cause more anxiety for your baby.

Between social media, online resources, and advice from well-meaning friends or family, there is a lot of pressure and expectation put on parents to nail down a sleeping schedule. The reality is, getting your baby to follow a sleep schedule is not a simple task, and will often take time, trials and tribulations, and an understanding of your baby’s cues. It is very normal for babies to wake throughout the night, and some babies will naturally sleep for longer stretches than others. Understanding that waking up during the night is a very normal part of development can help parents to set more realistic expectations, and put less pressure on themselves to have it all figured out. 

For many parents that I work with, it’s about building the skills and confidence to create a schedule that works for their family; rather than trying to force a rigid schedule.

Development milestones

Sleeping patterns will change as babies grow and develop. Babies are constantly undergoing significant neurological development, leading to increased awareness of their surroundings, new skills, and heightened curiosity – making it harder to settle. Sleep regressions are common around the four month, eight month, and eighteen month mark, and can lead to more frequent awakenings.

Sleep cycles & split nights

It’s common for babies to wake between sleep cycles and subsequently struggle to resettle back into sleep without help. If your baby relies heavily on external aids like feeding, or rocking to fall asleep, it can lead to a more disrupted sleep pattern. Similarly, split nights, where your baby is awake for long stretches during the night, can be related to your baby’s inability to link sleep cycles but also daytime sleep patterns, reducing the sleep pressure overnight.

Health

Being unwell can prevent a baby from feeling comfortable enough to sleep. Reflux, allergies, intolerances, and gas, can lead to discomfort and a disrupted sleep. 

If you suspect your baby is not sleeping because they are unwell, it’s important to check in with your paediatrician for any underlying health concerns. 

How to help your baby sleep 

As Sydney’s leading sleep consultant, my approach at Mindful Mum is to address baby sleep issues holistically to find the right way to manage sleep. Rather than looking at mainstream ways to deal with poor sleeping patterns, I can help you to observe and pick up on your baby’s cues, to allow for a more gentle, effective sleeping schedule. With over 25 years as a midwife, fourth-trimester supporter, baby sleep consultant, and being a mother myself, I am very much familiar with the issue of newborns not sleeping well, and helping parents to find the right balance in a sleep routine. 

Contact Mindful Mum today and start the journey to becoming a well-rested, thriving family.